Bring on the Rain

Well Britney Spears has shown us that umbrellas can used for bad purposes. I guess the paparazzi were lucky she did not have a tee time that day. I bet a nine iron would have done a tad more damage. (She has a talent for taking nice things like umbrellas and hair and turning them into disasters.) If you are the sort of person who prefers to use umbrellas in a more traditional way, the choices are endless.
I am the first to admit that I am not a Juicy Couture lover. I blame them for all those heinous terry cloth tracksuits. Why are people still wearing them? Anyway, I was surprised when I actually like one of their umbrellas. The map design is fun and it wins big bonus points for not having Juicy Couture plastered all over it.

Kate Spade usually has cute ones as well but they only seem to have one on their website now. Come on Kate, spring is not that far away.

This Tray 6 umbrella really puts me in the mood for tulips and raindrops.

But please play nice with your stylish umbrellas and try to not attack people. It would be a shame to look crazy with such adorable accessories.

The Replacement

I was optimistic for Britney Spear's post-Fed-Ex period, but my hopes have been replaced with an icky taste in my mouth. Not only is Brit sporting bad, bad fashion, various ugly hairstyles, and flashing areas that are NC-17 Rated, now she is sucking face with this dude!


Let the ickiness sink in for a moment. Cross-eyed, ick. Wearing some sort of ghetto "bling," ick! Greasy hair straight out of Brooklyn, ick! And of course a nice faux leather coat... make it stop!

This guy has to be related to K-Fed somehow, the trashy resemblance is clear.

Seriously Britney, what is wrong with boys who wear decent clothes and do not reek of Tag? It must be some sort of complex. I suggest immediate therapy... maybe Marc Jacobs will be your shrink.

No Need for a Crystal Ball

Just in case there was any doubt Britney is heading toward a really bad "E! True Hollywood Story," the signs are crystal clean now: Britney Spears is the next Michael Jackson.

Exhibit A: Britney wearing a t-shirt of her destiny.


Exhibit B: Similarities
-Both famous at a young age.
-Quasi-famous siblings. (Little Spears, the rest of the Jackson family.)
-Poor choices of partners. (Brit- weird guy from HS and idiot from the local trailer park; Michael- kids.)
-Strange wardrobe. (All of Britney's current attire, ditto for Michael.)

It's only a matter of time before little Ms. Spears...

...becomes a plastic surgery addict too!

Back to the Dump

I know I just wrote about Britney Spears but outfits like this...

...make me want to tear my eyelashes out.

Gag, gag, gag.

And here is the PSA, please wear underwear. Victoria's Secret is popular for a reason.


(Paris actually trying to keep Brit from flashing her post-maternity cooter?)

More gagging...

From Trash to Treasure?

Remember the good old days, when Britney Spears actually listened to her stylist? Then that ghetto boy came along and bought out her trailer park roots. Ew.

I thought conditions were finally improving post-break-up. She got that cute new bob haircut and actually picked out clothes that did not look like they were off the racks of Wal-Mart.


But it appears the call of trashiness is too strong for Brit to ignore. She was recently seen with not-so-classy "socialite" Paris Hilton. Even worse, they were both wearing matching animal print. Hanging out with Paris Hilton is not the way to rebuild your tarnished image.


First, Britney should find a new BFP (Best Friend for Pictures) like Tory Burch (free cute clothes too?) or Rachel Roy (always looking on-point). Then slip on this adorable Lela Rose dress...

... and maybe then Ms. Spears will once again be on my good list.