The Oscars... Minus the Pesky Awards Part

This year I found the whole Oscar thing even more overrated than usual. I knew it would be bad when my pop-culture guru friend told me she would not be watching. If the ratings are especially bad this year she alone is probably half the reason! Most of the time I have not even seen most of the movies nominated. It is not that I dislike going out to the movies, it just seems pricey for a tame night out. It costs ten dollars to sit in a dark room and not interact with anyone? It is hard to justify in my budget.

Despite all this I still am a girlie girl and enjoy looking at pretty dresses. And let’s not forget all the handsome men in tuxes. What is it about formal wear? It makes guys look so darn cute. Since the Oscars are a wonderful venue for observing both pretty dresses and handsome men I make it a priority to watch… the arrivals. What can I say; I have work to do on Sunday nights!

Here are some of the Oscar night looks, from my most hated to most adored:
This is just all wrong. Kirsten Dunst’s dress looks like something an old lady would wear. Is her stylist’s name Ethel? She would have been better off stealing some of those regal gowns from the set of Marie Antoinette. At least she could have passed it off as a nod to the movie winning for costume design.
I normally love Gwyneth’s style but this is just heinous. First, the color is not very flattering and on the verge of plain ugly. Then to top it off the dress is poorly fitted.
I usually like presents. However, Anne Hathaway’s dress is certainly not a gift I would like to receive. She has very pretty porcelain skin but the white dress just blends right in. That leaves the giant black bow just sitting there, looking out of place.
I loved the top half of Maggie Gyllenhaal’s gown, that neckline is just beautiful. I also liked that she kept it simple and let the asymmetric lines of the dress do the talking. But what was on the bottom half? Faux fur? A dead beaver? It confused me.
Jodie Foster looked amazing! Can you believe she is 44 years old? I loved the soft lines of her dress. I want to wear this to my next gala, seriously.Yea for picking a color other than black or blue! I like a girl who is not afraid of pink, especially bold fuchsia. Plus, she is an expert at knowing how to flatter her curves. That is exactly why every guy I know is obsessed with Jessica Biel.Reese’s thoughts: “Ryan, eat your heart out. I bet you are kicking yourself now jerk.”Emily Blunt’s shimmering sapphire dress was one of my favorites of the night. I liked it because it was sleek and clean. I am sure being super skinny helps pull it off. This dress looks like it would show any flaw. I only wish she had paired it with a pendent necklace or choker so her neck did not look so bare.
And last, but certainly not least, Abigail Breslin looked too cute for words! Aww.

I suppose the Oscars were not a total waste. My favorite (The Departed) did win Best Picture...

Golden Ladies

I have to admit that instead of actually watching the Golden Globe, I sat through a long episode of 24. Yeah, another two hours, ugg. Anyway, I do not regret my decision because the only part of the award shows I enjoy is the fashion.

Vanessa Williams went all out for the Golden Globes. Big hair, big cleavage, and even a mink for the freezing Cali weather. I feel bad for the animal that died for her coat. Just think it could have been roaming around the forest, enjoying life instead of making a former Miss America/singer/actress look even worse. More is not always better people!

I just loved Julia Louis Dreyfus’s frock. The mustard color stands out from the sea of black. The metallic decoration and the detail of the bust are so flattering. Nice choice!

Jessica Biel’s dress was a tad blah for me. It just looked like a large block of silver. There needed to be some differentiation in the dress… like a second color around the waist or maybe some seaming details. The choice of earrings reminds me of large disco balls. It is 2007 not 1975 Jessica.

I did not look up who this is but according to my boyfriend she is “the hot chick from Rescue Me.” (He is always so accurate.) I love the plunging neckline. It works so well on smaller chested women. I would look like a stripper in this. So unfair. The whole look is simple yet elegant.

And of course, Eva Longoria, another elegant choice at the Golden Globes. The rich navy fabric sets off her skin and dark hair. The scoop detail and matching earrings are all the dress needs to shine. I am glad she decided to skip a necklace; it would have been a distraction.

Overall I thought the stylists did a wonderful job on the stars outfits. Clean and simple is always the way to go!

Oh and Entourage was robbed! It is so much better than Ugly Betty. Hands down!

The AMA's by Request!

So I didn't actually watch the AMA's that were on a week or two ago. Award shows leave me bored and with a bad taste in my mouth. Like I need to see a bunch of self-congratulatory celebs with an excuse to speak. Remember, celebrities are like children, meant to be seen and not heard. (I am thinking of those celebs that go out specifically to promote their new [shitty] clothing line or some random political cause [save the purple-tailed swallow!].) So I did my research the painless way, online.

On to the train wreck...


John Mayer, I remember when I used to love you. Now you look like a homeless man.

Refusing to get a haircut does not make you deep or soulful!

At first I was like, who is this random blonde girl? Then I realized that it was Ashley Simpson...

...thanks to the wonders of plastic surgery! This makes me want to reconsider a nose job for myself!

And then of course, there was Gwen Stefani. Not that I would really know, but this is how I envision girls in porn dressing.


This dress used to be in my closet too. I wore it for First Communion though.

Nice ruffles.

Oh, please make it stop. I do not know where to start on Carrie Underwood's, uh, outfit. It wouldn't have been THAT bad if she could have a least picked either shorts or a dress. Remember the skort? (Skirt in the front, shorts in the back.) Same mistake here.

There must be something in the Nashville water that inspires ugly attire like this.

The black dresses are just a tad blah for a swank (or pointless?) award show.

But compared to the other country people, the Dixie Chicks at least looked nice. They must live in Texas not Tennessee!

Finally, I am not usually a big Nicole Richie fan. But I really like her new, more natural hair color. The gold dress is actually beautiful too. My only suggestion is that she should have not gone with a strapless dress.

Too bad her skeleton-like figure cannot hold that thing up! Have yourself a yummy Christmas cookie, the bonus is that you will get your boobs back! Yea!

Who won awards? Who really cares? On to the next red carpet!