Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Are You Twelve?

So I know everyone loves Robin Hood. He helps poor people, can shoot a bow and arrow, and hooked up with a hot Maid. This does NOT mean you should wear your Robin Hood costume to class. Period.

I was walking through Ho Plaza (that always makes me laugh) and I saw this skinny, weird Cornell boy decked out for Halloween. Yes, today is Halloween but come on, wearing your costume to class is totally lame. It only shows that you don't have any event outside of school to show off.

(To the Right: A much, much, much more handsome version of what I saw. Subtract all the muscles and insert nerdy glasses and ugly backpack.)

My advice: There will be parties on College Ave. tonight. You could also go to Johnny O’s; they are having a costume contest. Anyway, show up around 11 PM. Make sure you pre-partied so you aren't nervous about crashing. Also, wear a mask; people will assume you are someone they know. I'm sure that lady in the "Sexy Whatever" costume will totally dig your "Robbing the Rich" style.

Another Reason to Live in the City

The world's largest pumpkin may be from Rhode Island but New Yorkers are the ones who get to enjoy it. The massive pumpkin weighs in at more than 1,000 pounds and is on display in Grand Central Station.

A half ton of pumpkin! Literally! Just how many pumpkin pies does that make?

The real question is what will happen to it tomorrow? I bet some bored Jersey kids will steal it and then drive their parents' Lexus into it. Watch for that clip to appear on YouTube!

Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Nicole Richie Cops Out

Nicole Richie is telling people she is going to rehab because she just can't gain weight. Right. I recall a time when you didn't have an issue gaining weight...

Helpful Tip: Water and cigs do not provide nutrition. You must, in fact, eat food/drink calorie-filled drinks to not look like an Ethiopian child.

Hopefully she overcomes her issues because this...

...is not attractive.

My Dream Couple Splits

Say it's not true... Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe are "separated."

It makes me so sad... they were always my favorite "We-Are-Perfect" couple. I don't know who their stylists are but they deserve a big bonus! What cute, classy couple can I rely on now?

I just have to hope they work things out for the kids... and me.

The World's Lamest Gifts

The Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalog is supposed to be items you dream and wish for... but who really wants this junk?

Exhibit A: Pencil Skyscraper
True to its name, this is "art" made of pencils. You can purchase a 20 inch tall version at a mere six grand or splurge on the seven footer for forty grand (ouch!). What would you do with this thing? Put it next to your six-foot pile of erasers?

Exhibit B: Good Life Dog House
This gives new meaning to the saying "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Now your dog can live in its own glass house. If your dog is like mine, they will not enjoy this $7,000 gift. Dogs will most likely ruin the mini-sofa and then accidentally run into the glass walls. Not good.

Exhibit C: Human-Electric Hybrid Vehicle
It's basically an enclosed electric tricycle but with a price tag of 40,000 dollars. (Can I just get a car instead?) Not only is it pretty unnecessary, it is also really ugly. I would rather have the bike pictured here but I guess that would make me a boring, poor person.

Stick to the normal gifts in the catalog instead of these prize losers.

MySpace is Like, Totally Over

Everyone knows older media such as newspapers are facing declining readership levels. A lot of newspapers are trying to get in good with the younger demographic to stave off the slide. As part of Wa Po's quest to become hip and relevant, it seems they are turning to rejected stories from high school newspapers. It turns out that MySpace is no longer (gasp!) the hip social networking site it once was.

At least according to the high schoolers they interviewed for the piece.

Upcoming articles may include "Wired: Dealing with the Pain and Embarrassment of Braces", "Hollister Employees Way Cuter Than Gap's", or possibly "Chipotle: Great Food or Greatest Food Ever?” Congrats to the paper, you guys are one step closer to becoming USA Today.

Update: They Got Fergie Too!

More proof that Girl Scouts are trying to take over the world...
Step 1: Get everyone addicted to your cookies. (More addictive than drugs???)
Step 2: Slowly turn everyone into a Girl Scout.

Their first famous victim is Fergie. Here is a picture of her at a concert this weekend.

This strategy is actually pretty impressive. Although it appears Fergie did not get the note that sneakers are not to be worn with the uniform.

The Girl Scouts understand the celeb-worship that goes on these days.

I guess I better get my knee socks and sash out before my next class...

Cookies, Cookies Everywhere

Americans love to blame other people for their problems. In that grand tradition, I have seen people seriously blame Cookie Monster for obesity in children. The blame game worked enough for producers to change Cookie's tagline to "Cookies in Moderation!" Like this was the cause of your kid being a fattie.

Too bad these angry people missed the real menace... Girl Scouts. Oh I know, they are so cute and innocent. (I used to be one; I know how cute I was!) First, they make you feel bad about not buying cookies from them at the grocery store. Then they knock on your door and catch you off guard. They are so sneaky!

But these now the Girl Scouts are ADVERTISING! Seriously. The radio commercials say how they value your support and all the wonder programs the cookie-revenue helps. They are totally tech savvy, now you can go online and FIND a cookie booth. Girl Scouts of America stop making our population obese.

Mmmm, thin mints.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Christina, You Aren't Fooling Anyone!

This morning I was watching MTV and Christina Aguilera's new video "Hurt" was on. It was so over the top and cheesy! I love it that singers think these videos are mini-epic movies that will stand the test of time. Those delusions of grandeur can start an artist going down the scary Michael Jackson path... just think of the progression from "Thriller" to now. Ick.

Anyway, the part the bothers me most is that Christina is suddenly all classy again. Ohh, look at you with your 1940's pinup style... whatever. I think she needs to be reminded of what she was acting like not so long ago:



Once a scank, always a 'dirty' scank. Go back to your overly sexual lyrics and stripper-inspired dance moves; we all know who you are on the inside.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Steven Colbert, will you marry me?

This isn't the most recent clip from the Colbert Report but I still love it...

Who are the writers on this show? They are amazing. Maybe if SNL hired people like that, the show wouldn't be so painfully unfunny.

I also have to show this clip because I made the mistake of watching television during my breakfast.

This is why I stick to CNBC...

Have a nice day y'all!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Cornell Students Finally Find a Cause to Believe In

I have already been invited to a Facebook group about this cause so it must be important! And now the Cornell Daily Sun is reporting on it, which totally makes it news worthy...

Extending the bar hours?

Members of the Student Assembly and the Cornell Democrats are on a valiant crusade to let you, yes you, drink a whole additional hour! (This included all those underage freshmen at the Palms.) Way to fight the "man"!

But the townies are always trying to play spoilsport. It seems alcohol may actually make students do some pretty asinine things. According to reports in the Daily Sun:
“An elderly couple looked out of their window one fine evening and saw a group of students mooning them,” she said. “I have been told that people drunk out of their minds have somehow made their way into people’s homes and went to sleep on their couches, and they found them there in the morning.”

A drunkard got into your house? Maybe this is a gentle lesson to LOCK YOUR DOORS! Have you seen the hippies in the gorges? They will break into your home and take your organic produce. Wait, what was I writing about...

Back on track, the students are using the additional tax revenue and the promise of decreased binge drinking to justify to extension of hours. Oh yeah, and all those cool "urban" cities are doing it.

Come on townies, more taxes in exchange for a cooler college town! Good deal huh?

Guys Have a New Excuse Not to Talk to You

New research shows that talking on the cell phone may actually lead to infertility in men. Cell phone usage somehow lowers the overall number of sperm and then those who remain cannot swim as well.

This is so going to lead to guys refusing to talk a long time on the phone. And then he looks all wonderful because HE is just concerned about your future children. Girls just can't win!

Candy > Politics

Halloween is only one week away (less than a week if you intend to celebrate this weekend) but what about that holiday two weeks from today?

Drawing a blank? November 7th is Election Day! Yes, it counts as a holiday, it's on my calendar and some people even get the day (or a few hours) off.

It turns out that the US as whole is on track to spend close to 5 billion dollars on Halloween compared to 1 billion for the midterm elections. In case you were wondering, that shakes out to almost 17 dollars per citizen for Halloween and a little over 3 dollars for elections.

I bet administrators could use Americans' love of the scary, sugar-laden holiday into increased voter turnout...
-Screw paper ballots, make then out of candy. Also force voters to put their hands in "brains" and "eyeballs."
-Require voters to wear costumes then offer a prize for the most patriotic. (Aw, spooky George Washington won again??)
-Get rid of negative ads, instead promise candy brides.
-Replace 86-year old poll workers with models in scandalous costumes.
-Disguise polling place as a haunted house complete with scary characters that jump out at people waiting in line.

Yeah, voting would be so freaking fun! Happy "Trick or Treat" Election Day!

China Calling

Today I received an email (from another CU student) and it appears we are being recruited by the Chinese government!

From the email:
"The 2008 Olympics Organizing Committee in China is recruiting international volunteers from universities with a worldwide diverse feature."
Okay, so international students aka Americans.

So tell me more about these "crazy" Olympics.
"Welcome to China for 2008 Olympics! If you are interested in becoming a volunteer in 2008 Olympics in China, please send back your information to *****@cornell.edu. Your information will be rotated within the volunteer-to-be database. With equal chance, the lucky participants from US universities will be randomly chosen from the database to be the cost-all-covered volunteers for the 2008 Olympics in China. Expenses on airfare, hotel etc. will be covered by the China side."

Wow! A free trip to China! But wait, the selection process is random? Then why do they need all this info:
"i) Name;
ii) School;
iii) Major;
iv) Year of Study;
v) Citizenship;
vi) Commitment to take the volunteer task if chosen;
vii) Statement of Interest (Limited to one page, 12 point font);
viii) Hobbies and talents."

Whatever China, I'm not being fooled into your little free trip lottery. Last time I checked, employer-sponsored travel + free labor = indentured servant. (See: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indentured_servant)

However, if you could send over some of your yummy food maybe we can work out a deal!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Ivies Fail Men's Health Fitness Test, Too Busy Studying for Real Exams

The Men's Health has ranked the fittest universities in the country... and drumroll please... uh, none of the Ivies made the list. Although I was pretty amused to see who did make the Top 25:
1. Dickinson College. What the? Where did they find this place? Oh, PA.
23. Ithaca College. Same town as Cornell, just without the work ethic. I actually see these people at the bar unlike the average Cornellian who spends their weekends in one of the like 14 million libraries.
10. University of Richmond. Expect the baseball team, I heard that they allow obese people to play for them!
22. U of Denver. Just look at Condi!
8. TCU. Way to rock it Horned Frogs! Maybe this is why people there are so good looking? Okay, maybe I am a tad biased.

To be fair, just like any ranking the variables may or may not have anything to do with actual fitness. Just because a town has some fast food venues (one of the variables) doesn't necessarily mean students are out of shape. Oh well, I just hope our new President doesn't try barring the hot truck to compensate. Remember President Skorton, we don't get hired because we have the perfect abs*.

*Unless you are an actor, trainer, dancer, model, infommercial fitness person...

Vote for Me! I'm a Fatty Too!

Local political races crack me up. Today's source of amusement is from the new Ray Meier's commercial. (FYI: Running for NY State Senate.) His main argument is that you should vote for him because his only bad habit is "eating too many donuts." I was waiting for a slogan like 'Supersize Your Vote' to appear at the end.

In this photo, Senator Meier describes the largest donut he ever ate. "It was THIS big!"

Anyway, I don't think this guy will be voting for any health initiatives any time in the near future… Unless that law involved placing a Krispy Kremes in elementary schools. So join the two-thirds of Americans who are overweight and let your stomach do the voting! Vote for Meier and we will achieve the American dream of a heart attack for every New Yorker.

Even better than XBox!

Wa Po has created probably the dorkiest game of the face of the planet: Midterm Madness! I kid you not. This totally tops fantasy football in my book.

In this riveting experience, players pick who will win the various elections in the House and Senate. You can pick an individual seat and then get all the important data you need to make your choice. Too bad the info only includes jobs the candidate has held, legislative experience, religion, and birthplace/current residence. I can see someone picking winners and losers solely on their birth city. (This game totally helped my political awareness: now I know that my rep is Catholic and so is his opponent. In other words, I shouldn't even bother to vote. Yea apathy!) Anyway, once you have switched the seats, there is a handy-dandy pie chart to help you see how the balance has changed. If you are having a problem finding it, the creative geniuses at Wa Po have labeled it "House Pie Chart" or "Senate Pie Chart". Nice.

There is only one bonus: prizes! So bored political junkies, go attempt to win some free stuff!

It's ONLY half! Right?

A new survey (in "Jane") found that 20-something women spend around 48% of their disposable income on... you guessed it, clothing, beauty, and accessories for themselves. Apparently the girls of my generation (dubbed the "millenials" by some unknown source) "are children of the affluent baby boomers, so they grew up with an appreciation of quality goods and a desire to stay on top of trends." That's right, blame the parents.

But the real question is what is the rest of our disposable income being spent on? A few ideas of what the other 52% might include:
*Overpriced fourteen-dollar martinis. Thanks Sex and the City, now we're addicted to Cosmos.
*Electronics that essentially function as accessories... see: iPod, cellphones.
*Mace. (To protect clothes/accessories from thieves.)
*Storage places. No apartment ever has enough closet space!
*Pets that essentially function as accessories... see: little yippy dogs, hedgehogs, maybe ferrets?
*Dry Cleaning.
*Expensive sushi dinners with the girls. 30 dollars for dinner, ugg!
*Cars that essentially function as accessories... see: BMW, Benz, Porsche, etc.
*Cab rides to prevent ruining nice heels.
*And of course, on boyfriends who essential function as accessories! :)

Andrew McCarthy? Is that you?

You may remember a flick from the 80s called "Mannequin"... it starred Brat Packer Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall (very Pre-SATC). The basic premise was that a guy was in love with this "magical" mannequin who would randomly come to life. (Of course, only around him!) Misunderstandings and bad puns ensued.

Fast forward two decades, now there is a man named Ronald Dotson in Michigan who may be suffering from the same problem. According to the AP the guy was arrested "after breaking a window at a cleaning-supply company to get at a mannequin in a black and white French maid’s uniform." Hey un-pop-cultured police! That is probably his girlfriend!
Apparently he has been stealing mannequins for over thirteen years (or six years after the release of the movie). I think the best defense would be to show clips of the movie. The jury would probably think it was a documentary and take pity on him. After all, if "Pretty in Pink" star Andrew McCarthy did it too, it can't really be that bad!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Break a Leg!

It turns out that orthopedic injuries are, um, more than they are cracked up to be. Everyone's favorite hipster Lindsey Lohan is sporting the hottest new trend around: casts!
Anyone who has ever broken a bone knows it has all the makings of a fashion trend:
1. Scarcity. Getting a real cast involves a painful fracture, not something we will all endure. Of course, there are sure to be knock-off "fake" casts... but those are not as cool!
2. Upkeep. You have to put plastic bags around them when you shower. Also I have been told they start to smell if not cared for properly. Smelly = Gross, not hip!
3. Customizable! Miss Lohan has added signatures to her winter white wrist cast. Just be on guard for people trying to customize you new cast badly. No one wants that messy signature or odd drawing on their newly acquired accessory.
4. Short lived. I'm sure Lindsey's cast will be removed in a few weeks so get cracking! If you end up with a cast in a few months, you will look like those girls who wear Uggs still.

So bring out the klutziness and hope that your new cast comes with Lindsey's boyfriend too!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

World Series Fashion Faceoff!

Today marks the beginning of the MLB's World Series. This year the Detroit Tigers and St. Louis Cardinals will be facing off for the title. But which team wins in my book? Let's have a look at the style these teams are rockin':

First up to bat (bring on the cheesy sports clich├ęs!) are the boys from STL-

Let's see, just in case you get confused, they put their mascot on their jerseys. I guess it's the equivalent of Coach covering every square inch of their purses with big Cs. Way to brand yourself STL!

It appears they also like to sport ugly sock hats. Bad move guys.

Then there are the Tigers-

Pretty standard fare. Unflattering as usual. But look at that athletic ability, these guys could be their own cheerleaders! (Side note, why doesn't baseball have cheerleaders? Are they not as cool as basketball and football? They could call the squad the "Bat Girls" and use bats as props. Yeah, I guess baseball is trying to take the classy route and not employ former strippers to entertain drunks.)

But they do have some snazzy accessories to prove that your love for the game is stronger than your normally good fashion sense. Rock that Tigers bling!

My Pick: The Detroit Tigers... the Spirit of Detroit statue can't be wrong!

Friday, October 20, 2006

Bill Simmons has Excellent Taste!

I'm not talking about sports... I could care less that he is obsessed with the Red Sox or whatever. (Maybe he will preorder one of those new coffins with baseball logos on them?) Anyway, the real person I am a fan of is his wife aka the Sports Gal.

This week she wrote about "The Devil Wears Prada":
"They don't make enough movies where there's a young girl who has no style and can't fit in, and then, as the movie goes along, she realizes you need to look the part to get ahead. So she finds somebody non-threatening who's willing to help her understand how to dress and act, and the whole time, everyone's wearing great clothes, looking great and going to high-society events. And by the end, she's cooler and more stylish than anyone in the movie."

Girls love makeovers and Cinderella stories. Okay, maybe not ALL girls but the ones who I typically associate with at least!

Then the Sports Guy (Bill Simmons) jokes that they should just keep making the movie over and over with slight changes in location and situation. I guess he doesn't go to the movies often enough. It seems that basically ever new premiere is just a rehashed version of an older one. Oh well, it sells.

But this is why I really heart the Sports Gal, she uses Bill's idea against him:
"Bill has something like 50 favorite sports movies and they're all the same movie - somebody's an underdog, nobody believes in them, then they win the big game in the end. That's every sports movie. So how is that different then making my fashion movie premise 50 different ways? I think Bill is a hypocrite."

That's right, guys are hypocrites. We all know every sports movie is just a Cinderella story with a scoreboard.

AskMen Columnist Confuses Girls for Dogs

I don't normally get all "femi-nazi" on guys, I like to think that I am laid back and fun. But then I saw this article, "Training Your Girlfriend", and was almost immediately annoyed. Things only got worse as I read it...

"A girlfriend can make a best friend and ideal companion, but like any bitch (female dog, that is), she needs to be taught how to act around the house."

Okay, jerk, the only people allowed to refer to me as a "bitch" are my friends (who are girls). Plus, comparing the lady in your life to an animal is borderline beastiality (sp?). Gross.

Then there are the "problems" he lists:
Yap, yap, yap. She talks incessantly. But the problem is that she goes on and on and on about nothing. You're on the phone, trying to close a business deal, and there she is in the background, yipping about her new pair of shoes."

First of all, why are you "closing a business deal" at home? Second, she is probably talking about shoes for you so you can actually meet clients in person.

She always "begs" with her hands on her hips -- never on all fours. All you hear from her is, "I want this," "Give me that" (on your credit card, of course) and "My girlfriend's boyfriend bought her a car -- why are you so cheap?" Not to mention that she expects to be regularly taken out for expensive dinners."

Asking for something on your hands and knees? This is America not some crazy harem. Like most high quality items, beautiful, intelligent women are expensive. Get used to it cheapskate.

Finally, he concludes:
"All in all, obedience training is one of the best things you can do for your girlfriend and yourself, because a well-trained girlfriend makes for a happy relationship. It can enrich your dating life by eliminating unwanted behaviors and can make your time together much more enjoyable. The ultimate result is that you'll wind up with a girlfriend who will treat you well and work hard to please you... the perfect pet to have around the house."

A perfect pet huh? Too bad the "master" in this situation is still an a**.

I am almost positive this guy is single. So have fun "training" your right hand buddy...

Intelligent Design: Designer Denim or Generic Jeans?

One of the comments made me ponder, is there really a difference between the 200 dollar pair at NM and the run-of-the-mill mall ones?

Luxury Pricepoint ($120 to ??)
~Found at high-end department stores (Saks, NM, Barney's) and cute boutiques (Vary by location).
What you get for the money...
-Higher quality denim. This often entails specialty blends that allow the fabric to stretch or be extremely rigid.
-Special details. Look for unique sticking patterns or cool rinses (the color of the denim).

-A status symbol. Let's face it, girls (and guys) buy this type of jeans to impress people with what design they have on their back pockets.

Traditional Pricepoint ($50 to $120)
~Found at middle range department stores (Dillards, Macy's) and nicer mall stores (think Banana Republic).
What you get for the money...
-The largest variety within one price point, from basic straight leg to "premium" denim at some stores.

-You can often find the styling of high-end jeans for a lower price.

-No special back pocket appeal.

Budget Pricepoint (Under $50)
At mass retailers (Target, Walmart) and other mall stores (like AE).
What you get for the money...
-Basic cuts, styles. Good for a flare, may not be wonderful for finding a new skinny jean.

-Fabric often has less fit integrity... aka they stretch out quickly.
-Beware of frumpy designs and oddly placed pockets!

Like many aspects of style, how much you pay for your jeans is a personal choice. The biggest challenge is to try on a million pairs (regardless of price) until you find the perfect one! On a personal note, I would stick with the mid to high range jeans on the basis of quality. Oh and remember: it's not the jeans, it's the personality you bring to them!

Final Tips:
*Buy jeans tight. They will loosen up with wear.
*A lot of girls discount a pair because they are too long. If the fit is good just get them tailored... it's not as expensive as you might think.
*Most importantly, never buy jeans on a time crunch! They turn out to be the pairs that sit at the bottom of your drawer.

Have fun shopping!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Cheap Trick

My boyfriend often jokes that he will either A) have to devote a large portion of his salary to buy my purses or B) somehow con a large dowry out of my parents. There are lots of purse-loving ladies out there and plenty of stores to court them. But is that bag an investment or a seasonal trend? For those in the latter category, "borrowing" purses may be the way to go.

Website: www.bagborroworsteal.com
The Deal: Lends you purses in exchange for a monthly fee.
Pros: You can get that new BE & D now and then get rid of that sucker when your tastes change. Good for girls with bag "commitment issues."
Cons: The monthly fee for upper end purses (LV, Gucci, Chanel, etc.) is 175 dollars... or over 2 grand a year. (And $10 shipping per bag.) Plus if you mess up the bag after a few too many glasses of champagne the company can change a "reasonable fee" or even the full replacement costs.

It all sounds easy enough. But you like feel like a bit of a poser when that super-stylish friend asks to use that fabulous Marc Jacobs tote and you have to admit it was never truly yours.

I Should Have Gone to Georgetown

The Cornell Daily Sun has finally helped me to see the light. I am actually a Georgetowner* stuck in "gorges" Ithaca. Veronica of Campus Couture describes the typical G-Town lady:
"On casual days, many girls seen all over campus favor the typical laid-back look of cable-knit sweaters with the collars of their polos and button-up shirts peeking out, paired with simple, designer jeans or a jean skirt and ballerina flats. This look is not complete without the necessary trimmings: large sunglasses, a headband, a string of pearls, a hot pink Razr cell phone and a large designer bag."
Like Zoolander I am compelled to ask... can you read minds?! This girl can describe my everyday outfits down to the pearls and Razr phone**.

She goes on:
"The essence of Georgetown style is its innate impeccability; everything matches seamlessly while makeup and hair is the definition of perfection."
Yes! Yes! All true!!

Is there any advice she can give the average Cornell kid?
"But what we at Cornell need is to invest a little more time in ourselves and our fashion, improving our self-esteem and the moods of those surrounding us."

Miss Campus Couture, you will always have a friend in me.

*Disclosure: I actually did live in beautiful Georgetown this summer. I enjoyed every well-dressed minute!
**Note: My Razr is silver, I got it when they first came out so pink was not an option. How I wish I had waited!

Project Cut and Runway

It's over!
Project Runway crowned their new fashion darling this Wednesday. Here's a snippet of the final four...

Michael- Usually the hippest of the bunch, went full on street walker for the final runway show.

Laura- Continued making dresses your evil step-mother would adore. All her collection needed were dialogue bubbles with things like "Keep polishing my Prada boots children!" in them.

Uli- Blah, blah. Almost all neutral, totally coma-inducing. It made me long for her wacky prints.

Jeffrey- Had a disjointed and mainly ill-fitting collection. If this is LA style, I am staying firmly on the East Coast.

Personally I like Uli's the best... but that may be the blonde bias speaking. In the end, the judges picked Jeffrey. Or did they:

"The judges considered both their scores and input from the producers and Bravo in reaching their elimination decisions."

So did the producers want him to win because of his camera-grabbing, brash personality or did he win on merit? The producers and judges may be the only ones to ever know.

Or until VH1 does a reality show secrets uncovered program!

NYT Exposes the Cruel Conditions Cornell Girls Endure

It's October, the month of scary ghost, vampires, and revealing costumes. Every girl worth her salt remembers the Halloween party scene in Mean Girls:

Now in a stunning piece of investigative journalism, the New York Times discovers that this trend may not be all that is cracked up to be. In fact, the paper discovered that at Cornell University:
"“Almost everybody gets dressed up really, really sexy for it," said Carrie Jean Bodner, a senior at Cornell University in Ithaca who wrote about the abundance of skimpy Halloween garb for The Cornell Daily Sun last year. "Even the girls who wouldn'’t dream of going to class without their pearls and pullovers."
Yes, in an ironic twist of fate, proud, intelligent Ivy League women are forced to wear these outfits. I fear for my pearls.

But there is more... the NYT also found that, in addition, co-eds are then told by society to risk their lives just to fit in:
" Ms. Bodner of Cornell estimated that it will be about 30 degrees in Ithaca on Oct. 31. "“We'’re not just risking our dignity here," she said. "We'’re risking frostbite.”"
I want to thank the New York Times for exposing this dangerous trend to the public. I only hope that the next generation of girls will trade in their fishnets for a "funny nerd" costume. Go ahead, eat that extra piece of candy and let your spakling wit be your sex appeal!

In the mean time, I'll keep my sexy Red Riding Hood costume because it's too late brainwashed lady like me. Oh, and we wear pink on Wednesdays, loser.

Christmas/Hanukkah Shopping in October

Sometimes we all need a little help shopping for holiday presents (or "Dear Myself" gifts), luckily BCBG is on the ball! Get ready to commercialize the holidays now...

My Trend Analysis:
1) "Balancing Act"-Better known as puffy shirt with stick legs. Only really looks decent on thin girls. Boo.
2) "Go Wild"-Animal print. I am conflicted. It's so easy to slide into the trailer trash variety... ask a classy friend for help! And in my personal opinion, zebra or giraffe are the least likely to go bad.
3) "Boy Meets Girl"- Their not-so-creative way of telling you to buy a button-down shirt. Classic.
4) "You're Getting Warmer"- Puffy coats?! Who knew my New York survival coat was so stylish. But seriously, look for a coat like this one that has compressed down. Your snowballing-fighting friends will approve!
5) "High Waist"- Can look odd with a larger chest. Try before you buy!
6) "Updated Classics"- Those shoes are not cute! Period.
7) "Lady in Red"- Who were the ad wiz kids who came up with this? Red is wonderful for all those obligatory holiday parties. Just slip into one and eggnog your cares away.
8) "Black Magic"- We all have a LBD (FYI: Little Black Dress) by now.
9) "Celebrate in Style"- More like "We Changed One Strap On This Dress, So Buy It Again". I'm tired of your games BCBG design team!
10) "Top Notch"- In case you were living under a rock, these appear to be popular.

Summary: Break out that flirty cocktail dress, it's only a month and a half before those random holiday drinking events*.
*Watch out for mistletoe and desperate men.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Wa Po Restates the Obvious, Only Starlet Takes Notice

From an article by Jill Neal:
"[T]he problem is that mom jeans flatter almost no one. Though they were ostensibly designed to compliment a real woman's fuller figure, the reality is that most of them make an average wearer's behind, hips and stomach look...well, big."

Not be deterred Scarlet Johansson is trying to prove the Washington Post wrong. Can Mom jeans look cute?

You can be the judge but...
Please, do not attempt this at home!!

Paris Hilton is so deep.

I came across this picture of Miss Hilton at Octoberfest:

I can tell she looked into her soul for outfit inspiration and thought to herself...

"I, like, totally love Halloween!"

Bravo Paris, because of you, thousands of pre-teen girls are sure to buy a German Beer Girl costume this October... and proceed to stuff the top with tissues.