Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Candy > Politics

Halloween is only one week away (less than a week if you intend to celebrate this weekend) but what about that holiday two weeks from today?

Drawing a blank? November 7th is Election Day! Yes, it counts as a holiday, it's on my calendar and some people even get the day (or a few hours) off.

It turns out that the US as whole is on track to spend close to 5 billion dollars on Halloween compared to 1 billion for the midterm elections. In case you were wondering, that shakes out to almost 17 dollars per citizen for Halloween and a little over 3 dollars for elections.

I bet administrators could use Americans' love of the scary, sugar-laden holiday into increased voter turnout...
-Screw paper ballots, make then out of candy. Also force voters to put their hands in "brains" and "eyeballs."
-Require voters to wear costumes then offer a prize for the most patriotic. (Aw, spooky George Washington won again??)
-Get rid of negative ads, instead promise candy brides.
-Replace 86-year old poll workers with models in scandalous costumes.
-Disguise polling place as a haunted house complete with scary characters that jump out at people waiting in line.

Yeah, voting would be so freaking fun! Happy "Trick or Treat" Election Day!

No comments: