Thursday, November 30, 2006

Back to the Dump

I know I just wrote about Britney Spears but outfits like this...

...make me want to tear my eyelashes out.

Gag, gag, gag.

And here is the PSA, please wear underwear. Victoria's Secret is popular for a reason.

(Paris actually trying to keep Brit from flashing her post-maternity cooter?)

More gagging...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Style the First Victim of Stress

It is the last week of classes and here at Cornell that means every prof has decided to give you a paper, presentation, or other random busywork to annoy you before finals week. In my classes, this end of semester crush usually entails working in a group with several other just-as-anal students and who also have a million things to do. Fun.

Everyone shows their stress in different ways. There are the kids who can be seen chain smoking outside of the Hotel School, just dreaming of the day when they will run a nice resort in the Bahamas. And the Engi-Nerds wandering their quad, somehow appearing even more downtrodden than usual. Not the mention, the ever-growing line of people in the Olin library cafe, patiently waiting to get their hourly caffeine fix.

Well my stress level shows up in a weird sort of way: I dress down. To someone that does not know me, this may seem like an insignificant change but believe me, it is a major alteration. I just feel icky when I am not wearing something decent. I guess this is the opposite of how most hoodie-addicted, leggings-loving Cornell students feel.

Today it got bad... I wore a Salty Dog tee, jeans, and sneakers to class. That is right, in public!! The only redeeming qualities of the outfit were the nice Citizens jeans and that my t-shirt was pink.

(The tee in question.)

I hope this rash of college fashion will past quickly... someone on this campus needs to look cute.

From Trash to Treasure?

Remember the good old days, when Britney Spears actually listened to her stylist? Then that ghetto boy came along and bought out her trailer park roots. Ew.

I thought conditions were finally improving post-break-up. She got that cute new bob haircut and actually picked out clothes that did not look like they were off the racks of Wal-Mart.

But it appears the call of trashiness is too strong for Brit to ignore. She was recently seen with not-so-classy "socialite" Paris Hilton. Even worse, they were both wearing matching animal print. Hanging out with Paris Hilton is not the way to rebuild your tarnished image.

First, Britney should find a new BFP (Best Friend for Pictures) like Tory Burch (free cute clothes too?) or Rachel Roy (always looking on-point). Then slip on this adorable Lela Rose dress...

... and maybe then Ms. Spears will once again be on my good list.

Monday, November 27, 2006

What You Get for the Money

I am convinced there is some sex-linked gene that causes guys to love electronics. All the time I see they drooling over televisions, Playstations, remote-controlled cars (that were probably made for a ten year old!), or whatever else passes by them.

Case in point: my sweet boyfriend thinks that he HAS to have a plasma TV. I just do not get it. In a year or two the price will come way down and the technology will have improved. Do you really need a high-def flat screen to watch Law and Order reruns?

This 50” LG plasma will run you about four thousand eight hundred dollars... or $4,800 if you are illiterate.

To my girlie eyes this TV could pay for like 12 Days of Christmas but for the sake of simplicity here is a smaller list of item you could purchase for the same price:

Tiffany's Charm Bracelet, a mere four hundred fifty dollars...

Overly gaudy Fendi bag, eight hundred forty five dollars...

Sassymax, fake boobs on the cheap and without painful surgery, sixty-nine dollars...

Burberry nightie, keeping it classy for one hundred thirty five dollars...

Very pink luggage that will never get lost, four pieces on special for three hundred seventy dollars...

(In case you are adding, the current total is only $1,869!)

Red hot leather armchair, one thousand nine hundred dollars, ouch...

Deluxe spa package at the Ritz including deluxe accommodations, full breakfast, and 25-minute reflexology Treatment, Spa Pedicure, a Moment of Serenity massage, and finally a Petite Facial, four hundred fifty dollars, ahhhhh....

And finally the perfect shoes for all those holiday gatherings, Jimmy Choo velvet sandals, five hundred eighty dollars...

For a grand total of just under four thousand eight hundred!!

Plasma versus all that? Boys are so silly.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Take That PB!

I am happy to report that I have made my first (non-food) purchase on Hilton Head Island.

The back-story: I freaking love Pottery Barn. This is understandable since I am someone who briefly considered majoring in Interior Design. Then I found out they only made like 24K a year... Anyway, the way they arrange their rooms is my type of eye candy.

(Pictured Above: My future living room. If you ask nicely, you may just be invited to come over and enjoy it... at some point.)

Over the summer, PB did the whole decorating using seashells and starfish deal. Since I love, love, love the beach I was instantly enthralled with it. The only problem: each starfish cost 14 dollars! No offense but I can think of a better way to spend my money.

Well I was reinspired to find some accessories of the sea today.

(In our living room!)

So I went out to the South Beach General Store and bought a bunch of shells and starfish. Expect it cost about a tenth of the price! This once again proves that I am shopping maven!

If anyone wants a personal shopper just give me a call! :)

Monday, November 20, 2006

Who Is Running HR?

So if you were looking to fill a position, say the Director of Family Planning Services, what type of person would you look for? Apparently the best candidate the executive branch could find was someone who thinks birth control is "demeaning to women."

Right. Allowing women to choose if and when to have a child is certainly "demeaning" them. The non-profit that he runs "is persuaded that the crass commercialization and distribution of birth control is demeaning to women, degrading of human sexuality and adverse to human health and happiness."
Way to follow the mandate of the law behind family planning services. Does taking a little pill once a day really "degrade" your sexuality? Make you depressed? Maybe this guy should recognize that BC helps to prevent abortions, especially in teenagers. Read the literature you so-called expert.

Nice work Bush administration. I'm just waiting for them to appoint an illiterate person to run the LOC (Library of Congress).

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Hershey: Haven for Killer Bears

Along with everyone else in the world, I love the Colbert Report. Other members of the "Colbert Nation" know about Steven's dislike of bears:

Yes, they are scary beasts.

I found something even more shocking while driving though Pennsylvania today... more bears! This time it is a hockey team in Hershey, PA. Here are some of the evil deeds these bears are up to:

Their mascot Coco harassing fans. He obviously is about to hit the lady in the front row for not giving up her picnic basket.

No one will even help her! The other fans have been brainwashed by the Bears!

These Bears also teach innocent little children that violence is okay. No Mr. Bear, shoving this random figure skater is not okay.

He was just trying to land his triple Lutz!

The mascot Coco also causes trouble by encouraging the obesity epidemic! Here he forces kids to eat cupcakes made with Hershey's chocolate...

...and crack!

Steven needs to send in the Saginaw Eagles to take these Bears down! The Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle could take this pansy Coco character any day!

Shopping for Two!

Just the thought of going shopping with one's boyfriend can send any girl into panic mode. They get fidgety and agitated upon stepping into a nice establishment. Even worse, guys usually can't stand the concept of paying for the pretty clothes we adore. Well, I have figured out a sure fire way to enjoy some quality holiday shopping and still be that annoying cute couple. (Versus the not-so-cute couple fighting over where to park.)

Distraction Strategy One: Dogs
In my opinion, most decent guys love dogs. (It's on my checklist of good guy traits.) Anyway, there is the cutest store that provides a nice lab for your man to play with! It's called Maggie and Lola. This adorable boutique is located on Capitol Hill at E and Penn SE.

Lola is a black lab who loves to play with her squeaky duck. She will distract any boy while you look at their lovely selection of clothing and accessories. They even have Hanky Panky undies that are so freaking cute!

Bonus: This lovable dog will keep your boyfriend so enraptured he will tell you that 250 dollars is a reasonable price for a cashmere sweater. It happened!

Distraction Strategy Two: Food
This can take on two forms. First there is the ever-popular send-him-to-the-food-court method. You can shop in peace while he munches on a burrito or whatever.
I prefer the second method, although it does not work in all stores. Find a store that is giving away food! An old favorite in this category is William Sonoma. Those people always have some overpriced jam they want you to try! This weekend I leveraged this strategy into a full-blown Bailey, Banks, and Biddle trip. In preparation for their upcoming sale, they had a bevy of finger foods. Between the snacks and guessing prices we spent a good half hour looking at the sparkly treasures. Nice.

Good luck ladies!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Goddess from the Block

Everyone needs a study break. Tonight I put aside my millionth HBR case of the week and decided to browse InStyle. In the Look of the Day section I came upon this photo:

How many Grecian goddess inspired dresses does Jennifer Lopez own? Let's see...
The Ben-ifer version...

Orange complexion to match the dress...

With the (newest) hubby...

Okay, okay, stop the hit parade! It is nice that she has found a style that she likes but, really, variety is the so-called spice of life. It almost seems like a coping mechanism for her. Like a way of ditching her past for what she believes she really is: immortal?

Whatever J. Lo, we all know you are just a girl from the Bronx.

Monday, November 13, 2006

What Not to Put in Your Announcement

There are a few things one typically puts in a wedding announcement like where the ceremony is or the bride and groom's college. Putting in an adorable story usually helps as well.

In this Sunday's NYT weddings section, one couple took a different tactic: medical trauma. Literally half the announcement detailed a heart attack the groom had suffered.

" “I had no warning at all,” said Mr. Moore, an active athlete who has no memory of the event. One moment he was working late on a big business merger that King & Spalding was handling, and then “someone in the next room heard a chair fall and rushed in and saw me on the floor passed out.”
Fortunately, another lawyer who was working on the deal knew CPR, which saved Mr. Moore’s life. He was still unconscious when he arrived at the hospital, where doctors performed cardiac surgery, implanting an internal cardiac defibrillator in his body."

Seriously? Well at least they managed to slip in the firm he worked for and it's always nice to know that M&A lawyers know CPR. But that was not the end of the detailed account:

"Mr. Moore still takes beta blockers daily to regulate his heartbeat, but otherwise he has physically recovered."

His medication is that really pertinent to the story of their engagement or wedding? This event must have been the defining moment of the relationship. Wrong. The announcement goes on:

"And while the couple consider his health scare a significant life event, they say it was not a life-changing one."

Oh, not life-changing. Then why was it included? Didn't this guy do anything "aw" inducing during your courtship? It is obvious the NYT was not impressed either, these two did not even get their picture included.

These Princeton alums really need to spice things up. Here's an idea: take her on a nice trip and remember to take your beta-blockers. We don't want your first romantic encounter to be your last.

Gone But Not Forgotten

This morning I saw a disturbing sight in Cascadilla Gorge: the remains of a pumpkin suicide. The hard rock floor of the gorge had shattered the pumpkin. The other students crossing the bridge blindly walked on, more focuses on their upcoming finals than the tragedy that had taken place.

Well, little pumpkin, you are not forgotten.

I imagine it started off life just like any other seed. The pumpkin probably grew up in a nice patch close to Ithaca.

But then it started hanging out with the wrong crowd. It probably was picked up by a bunch of frat boys (I'm looking at you Lambda Chi.). Then one day the hazing began. It probably started small like being drawn on. Pretty soon, it had lost its guts, was full of holes, and even was forced to eat fire.

The month of November most likely pushed the pumpkin over the edge. Since Halloween no one even looked at it. The pumpkin probably sat alone just rotting with lonely thoughts.

The gorge must have seemed like the only answer. Poor pumpkin… if only someone had cared.

Appearing Soon

Townies in Ithaca just love bumper stickers. Of course there is the obligatory "Ithaca is Gorges" stick but political stickers are a must too.

Think: "Re-defeat Bush in 2006!" "Treehugger" "Bush Must Go!" "No one died when Clinton lied." An old "Kerry/Edwards" sticker. The more, the better.

(A townie Grandma shares the joy of "Bush Must Go" stickers. Fun for the whole family!)

Now townies have a brand new decoration to add to their Priuses.

Get it? Speaker of House comes after the Vice-President in the line of succession. Personally I would take a Paulson in 2007 sticker. (Fifth in line is the Secretary of the Treasury.) Goldman Sachs over politicians any day! For now my car will stay pretty and undecorated.

FYI: The views from the Goldman offices at 50 Broad Street are amazing. Can you see all of NYC from your office?

Friday, November 10, 2006

Bored in Bache

Yesterday I attended a lecture by our former school President Jeffrey Lehman. It was SUCH a huge deal when he became president because he was the first alum to hold the position. He went on to leave after only two years. Way to represent.

Anyway, the lecture was called "From Welfare State to Welfare Planet." So what did I do during this fascinating discussion?

I studied for an exam.

Sorry to our former President but I feel like my Accounting grade takes precedence over how the WTO is somehow going to enforce certain standards of welfare programs. Maybe if he had been pragmatic like me, he would have lasted a little longer in his real world job.

Oh and go Cornell Hockey! Har-vahd sucks!! Go back to Boston, Massholes!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Gig That!

Just when you thought things were changing, now we have an Aggie in charge of the Defense Department? Oh great. The NYT reports that: “Task No. 1 is to generate the strategy for victory in Iraq."

I have a feeling that may actually end up being task number six. Other important tasks the new Secretary of Defense may try to accomplish first:

-Preventing people from walking on the grass.

-Setting up a giant bonfire in the Pentagon parking lot.

-Forcing everyone to give the Gig 'Em sign when saying "Howdy." Push-ups as punishment if the rule is not followed.

-No girls in the Pentagon! Like the A&M football field, it is holy territory.

-And, of course, new officials must put a ring in a pitcher of beer and chug it all to be part of the inner circle.

Then Mr. Gates will deal with that pesky war.

Caffeine Couture

Things are looking up in Collegetown. Next semester my caffeine-wired dreams will be answered: Starbucks is coming! Oh, my friends and I have waited for this day for too long.

I'm sure some people will be annoyed about a "corporate" business setting up shop but a little competition might help us all out. Consider the current alternatives:

CTB (Collegetown Bagels for those of you not in the loop)

This has to be the most inefficient operation ever. I always end up waiting forever to get my food or coffee. This even mysteriously happens when no one is waiting. The pluses are that you always see friends there since it is so close to campus and it's also a nice place to have sangria! (If you can snag a table on those elusive nice Ithaca days.)
Rating: Two Espresso Shots (out of five). Good for hanging out, not for getting your daily fix.

Gimme! Coffee

Very Ithacan, they even have a booth at the Farmers Market. I always feel like I should be wearing organic clothing to go to these. The coffee has always been great. Too be honest, they are just too far to make it worth my trip. The closest one is up on the Ag Quad, no thanks.
Rating: Three and a Half Espresso Shots. Nice beans, bad locations.


Stella’s CafĂ© is dark, moody, and full of people intensely studying. Their service is usually pretty fast which is always good in my book. I don't fit into their "downtown hipness" mold enough to actually enjoy a latte there.
Rating: Three and a Half Espresso Shots. The anti-CTB.

See you next semester Starbucks! Please have my Grande cappuccino ready and waiting.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Cornell Dems Get Together, Bad Puns Abound

The Cornell Daily Sun exposes what really goes on at those election-watching parties: champagne and not-so-great jokes. A sample:

"One student, who wore a tee shirt that said, “Santorum: That’s Latin for asshole.” "

Classy. Negative campaigning meets the t-shirt.

" “Are you double-fisting?” he said.
“Yeah, I’m bi-cameral.” The room broke out in hoots."

This must have been the booze kicking in. Just like that time your friend told you that story about a cat in a tree, the one that didn't have a point and wasn't funny. Somehow it kept you laughing for an hour. Blame Natty Light.

" “The Republicans are looking for the pony in the manure pile right now,” he said. Another time: “The elephant in the room — or should we say the donkey.” "

Very original guys. I bet it took you all of O-Chem lab to come up with those winners.

Over at a Republican watching party, the mood was obviously a little different:

" “I think some of the criticism is just hippies,” Barry said. “The liberals of America attacking us just to attack.” "

Dang those hippies they are so violent? I just picture Nancy Pelosi as a crazy rottweiler.

Lesson learned: these mini-wonks are not funny. Or maybe it is just the school they come from.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Voter Disenfranchisement, Now For Everyone!

You always hear about poor, elderly, or minority voters being disenfranchised. Just to prove these stereotypes wrong the poll workers in Manhattan carefully chose their target: Chelsea Clinton. As in- daughter of a former President and a current Senator; who is a former employee of the second best consulting firm in the world, McKinsey, and currently working for a high profile hedge fund (Avenue Capital).

(Sorry, a random tabloid cover!)

Nice work guys. Don't mess with Hilary's daughter... her posse will make sure your mistake will so end up in the NYT!

Voting is Gorges

I know what you are thinking, ugg, more on those stupid midterm elections. I know the feeling I almost threw up listening to the NPR coverage this morning. (Luckily I turned if off soon enough! Whew!)

Anyway, I always joke about how liberal Ithaca is. It amuses me on a daily basis. Oh, we are soooo liberal that our Democratic Congressman is the Republican candidate! Literally. He is the candidate for every party in our district. Good thing I am not a New Yorker and therefore actually have a choice!

Needless to say, I am as jaded as they come. Today I actually saw something that warmed my unpatriotic soul: teenagers walking around in the pouring rain with "Honk if you voted!" signs. I mean they can't even vote but the care enough to risk a nasty cold to remind other people to vote. (Too bad I was like the only person on the street who honked.)

Maybe if there were more simple demonstrations like this and less of the celebrities-telling-you-to-vote campaigns, we would all be a little less cynical about our civil duty.

Take that Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, or whatever your name is this second.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Reuters Makes Me Uncomfortable

I tend to think of Reuters as a stuffy news organization... always reporting on international goings-on and what not. So the headline "Most Indian men want virgin brides" seemed pretty standard. Not so!

Yes, yes, they like virgins but the study found much more. Let the grossness begin...

About half of young Indian men surveyed had had sex with a prostitute. Eww! Half?! I mean going to a strip club I can understand but paying someone to have sex with you, come on! STD central!

Almost forty percent had had a "homosexual experience." Wow.

And then Reuters slipped in one more finding... fourteen percent had had sex with someone IN THEIR FAMILY. Is India the new Kentucky? That is so wrong.

Not to sounds culturally insensitive, but all this makes me a tad squeamish. Just to let you know, Brazil is now my favorite BRIC country. How does that feel India?

Calling All Cavemen

Sometimes I think about how different women's lives were just a century ago. No voting, no working outside the home, and not really being valued for our intellectual capacity. It turns out that Forbes really misses those good old days.

Forbes editor Michael Noer points out all the reasons NOT to marry a career girl:

"Your typical career girl is well educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure … at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is, the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you."

Here's an idea, work harder. Maybe then you can keep up with this stellar woman.

"When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase that he or she will meet someone more likable than you."

Probably because you are being an inattentive jerk who takes their wife for granted! Try doing something nice for your wife and maybe she won't be so likely to hook up with that new analyst in her department.

"According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extramarital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 times more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas). Additionally, individuals who earn more than $30,000 a year are more likely to cheat."

Gee, I never would have guessed that richer and better-educated individuals would be more likely to cheat. Here's a hint these people probably are less worried about their partner leaving them. Hello financial dependence!

"A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner."

No comment. Ladies, I am so disappointed in you.

Thanks for showing me the truth Forbes. I guess I better abandon my grad degree now, toss my NYT, and get to what women do best... cooking, cleaning, and making babies. (For the sake of my future marriage!)

And by the way, the Financial Times is far superior to your little magazine.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

This S*** Is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

I am really upset that this didn't happen in any of my classes...

Come into Sage Hall next time! Then the B-School kids will finally have a reason to go to class... other than free WSJ's.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Ensuring Designer Falls

Shoes are so tricky. On one hand, they make us look long, lean, and sexy. On the other hand, with one false step we are likely to end up flat on our backs.

Now the Vogue has the '07 Spring Accessories report out, it's time to find the shoes most like to cause bodily harm:

These black and white Pierre Hardy platforms look like art more than footwear. The tiny stiletto and weirdly rounded platform ensure you will be taking baby steps to your destination.

From Balenciaga, the leader in unwearable shoes...

Not only does these Marc Jacob's wedges look painful, they are also hideous. So not worth the money and effort!

All these shoes remind me why is it so important to have health insurance! You never know when our lovely footwear will abuse us next…

Unlike a Virgin

Sex on TV does influence people... including Lindsay Lohan:
"Sex And The City changed everything for me because those girls would just sleep with so many people. And that's me. I'm not dating just one person. It is the variety of partners everyone likes, especially at my age. I'm like Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't need a steady relationship. I mean if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere."

But remember kids, serial monogamy is the way to go:
"My mum's going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people - but if I'm going to give my body to someone, I'd rather them not be with other people. It's very old-fashioned. The guys I am really attracted to now don't drink, don't smoke and don't do anything else."

The News of the World sums it up best:
"But while she has had a difficult relationship with food, there has never been anything wrong with Lindsay's sexual appetite."

I so need to cash in on this. I am picturing the "Lohan Diet." Here's the gist- minimal food, lots of drinking, and sex to keep your mind off your growling stomach. It's just the trick to get you leotard ready.

To Do: Buy Curtains

At first I chalked this story up to its location: Ohio. Then again there are peeping Toms everywhere so here we go...

Earlier this week a middle-aged man in a random small town in Ohio was arrest for public indecency. Note the "public." Where was this perv prancing around? The park? The mall (if they even have one)? A bar? No, no, and no. The man was in his HOUSE. That's right, no nakedness in the privacy of his own little place.

Even stranger, according to the local news, the police arrested him after seeing him through a window. So en route to the local donut shop these officers just happened to be looking in naked guy's house? Ew.

That naked neighbor in Friends is just lucky he lived in NYC and not the blandest state of all.

The Line is Wrong, Bob

Today the Cornell Daily Sun decided to take pity on the pathetic guys of campus and try to give them some game. Too bad that help comes in the form of really bad pick-up lines. Some of their suggestions:

“You’re ugly, but you intrigue me.”
---Maybe this would work without the first bit. Expect a slap with this line.

“You’ll do.”
---You are pathetic.

“If you were a function, I wish I was your derivative, so I could lay tangent to your curves.”
---Nerd Alert!! Although some smart girls may think of a witty math pun telling you to get lost.

This need for cheesy lines is not healthy. I overheard two boys on the Engineering quad talking about "I just can't talk to girls!"... it's just not that hard people.

Say hi.

Compliment her.

Make her laugh.

Don't compare her to a mathematical function.

You will be well on your way to a girlfriend... or one for the night.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

When Fat Girls Attack

Being a girl, I understand that sometimes you just need some candy. When the craving usually hits, I go BUY some. In Colorado, some girls took a different tactic.

According to the ABC affiliate in Denver: "Deputies are looking for two teen girls who stole candy from several trick-or-treaters on Halloween night...
The victim said that he was with his friend trick-or-treating when they were approached by two girls. The girls wanted their candy and began assaulting them...
During a search for the girls, deputies found three more victims. The teens were described as heavy-set girls about 16 or 17 years old. They were wearing a red hooded sweatshirt and black and white face paint. One girl had blonde hair and the other had darker hair, the victims said."

Stealing from little kids and then beating them up? It's not like they were, um, underfed or anything. That is not a good way to take out your teen angst. (I am glad I never got moody and evil like that.)

Well, maybe they burned off a few calories running away at least.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

A Rose By Any Other Name....

Let me start off with a clarification: My name is NOT Kayla.

I was walking home from class. As I passed the Statler this guy approaching me goes "Hey Kayla!" Normal so far.

Then the guy gets closer, probably 15 feet away, and waves, calling the name again. He is burning a hole through my chest. Wow, he is excited to see who ever is behind me.

Finally, when our paths are crossing he GRABS my arm! What the hell?!!

"Kayla, haven't you heard me calling you? We need to talk!"

I haven't seen this gangly guy before in my life and now he is grabbing me and demanding we talk. Uh, no.

So I did the wrong-person line and walked quickly away. Weird encounter over right? Not yet...

"Are you ignoring me? You are such a little bitch."

Yeah, because I am the one with the problem here.

I freaking hate Cornell guys.

A New Reason to Reconsider Selective Sterilization

The word on the street is that Flavor Flav is going to be a father... again. This will be his seventh child. According to People: "Flav described [her] only as a 'shorty in Las Vegas.' " Shorty in Vegas huh? That is so code for stripper!!

The thing I don't get is why women are sleeping with this guy. He has no career (VH1 so does not count!), he's 47 years old, can't speak well, and is really, really ugly. What a catch? Someone should stage a boycott. I am 99% positive the world will be better off if he has no more kids!

I guess some scanks will sleep with anyone. Even a guy who randomly wears a big clock at all times.

A Bergdorf Blonde's Opinion

Now that it is November, the holiday party season can begin! Bergdorf's read my mind and sent me a reminder that I need to get a new fancy dress for all these events. However, even at such a lovely establishment there are good, bad, and just pain ugly dresses...

The (Very) Good:
I am now obsessed with this Vera Wang stunner. The detail of the shirring is so festive and beautiful. I also am a fan of the "aubergine" color, it's dark enough to still be slimming but a change from basic black.

And there is a bow in the back... you are like a well-wrapped present!

The Bad:
While this Donna Karen look isn't all that terrible, it is a tad matronly. Save it until you're had a few kids.

The Oh-So Ugly:
Ewww, Juicy Couture you should have stopped at tracksuits. This dress is not appropriate for any nice event! And I just can't get over my dislike of leggings. Ick.

I usually like DVF (Diane vonFurstenburg) but this dress is a mess. I'm pretty sure my high school sewing projects turned out better than this. It's shapeless and boring! Boo!

Now off to find fun places to wear this stuff!