Monday, November 13, 2006

What Not to Put in Your Announcement

There are a few things one typically puts in a wedding announcement like where the ceremony is or the bride and groom's college. Putting in an adorable story usually helps as well.

In this Sunday's NYT weddings section, one couple took a different tactic: medical trauma. Literally half the announcement detailed a heart attack the groom had suffered.

" “I had no warning at all,” said Mr. Moore, an active athlete who has no memory of the event. One moment he was working late on a big business merger that King & Spalding was handling, and then “someone in the next room heard a chair fall and rushed in and saw me on the floor passed out.”
Fortunately, another lawyer who was working on the deal knew CPR, which saved Mr. Moore’s life. He was still unconscious when he arrived at the hospital, where doctors performed cardiac surgery, implanting an internal cardiac defibrillator in his body."

Seriously? Well at least they managed to slip in the firm he worked for and it's always nice to know that M&A lawyers know CPR. But that was not the end of the detailed account:

"Mr. Moore still takes beta blockers daily to regulate his heartbeat, but otherwise he has physically recovered."

His medication is that really pertinent to the story of their engagement or wedding? This event must have been the defining moment of the relationship. Wrong. The announcement goes on:

"And while the couple consider his health scare a significant life event, they say it was not a life-changing one."

Oh, not life-changing. Then why was it included? Didn't this guy do anything "aw" inducing during your courtship? It is obvious the NYT was not impressed either, these two did not even get their picture included.

These Princeton alums really need to spice things up. Here's an idea: take her on a nice trip and remember to take your beta-blockers. We don't want your first romantic encounter to be your last.

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