Sunday, November 19, 2006

Hershey: Haven for Killer Bears

Along with everyone else in the world, I love the Colbert Report. Other members of the "Colbert Nation" know about Steven's dislike of bears:

Yes, they are scary beasts.

I found something even more shocking while driving though Pennsylvania today... more bears! This time it is a hockey team in Hershey, PA. Here are some of the evil deeds these bears are up to:

Their mascot Coco harassing fans. He obviously is about to hit the lady in the front row for not giving up her picnic basket.

No one will even help her! The other fans have been brainwashed by the Bears!

These Bears also teach innocent little children that violence is okay. No Mr. Bear, shoving this random figure skater is not okay.

He was just trying to land his triple Lutz!

The mascot Coco also causes trouble by encouraging the obesity epidemic! Here he forces kids to eat cupcakes made with Hershey's chocolate...

...and crack!

Steven needs to send in the Saginaw Eagles to take these Bears down! The Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle could take this pansy Coco character any day!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

To the idea of the Saginaw Spirit taking on the Hershey Bears, I say: Bring it on.

The defending AHL Calder Cup Champions would make mincemeat out of the Spirit, and Coco would be flossing bits of Stephen Colbeagle The Eagle out of his teeth for days.

Actually, it's not Coco you have to worry about-- it's Puckhead, the fellow who leads the Hershey faithful in chants of "B-E-A-R-S BEARS BEARS BEARS, WOOOOOO!" You can tell from the look in his eyes-- he's crazy.