NYT Exposes the Cruel Conditions Cornell Girls Endure

It's October, the month of scary ghost, vampires, and revealing costumes. Every girl worth her salt remembers the Halloween party scene in Mean Girls:

Now in a stunning piece of investigative journalism, the New York Times discovers that this trend may not be all that is cracked up to be. In fact, the paper discovered that at Cornell University:
"“Almost everybody gets dressed up really, really sexy for it," said Carrie Jean Bodner, a senior at Cornell University in Ithaca who wrote about the abundance of skimpy Halloween garb for The Cornell Daily Sun last year. "Even the girls who wouldn'’t dream of going to class without their pearls and pullovers."
Yes, in an ironic twist of fate, proud, intelligent Ivy League women are forced to wear these outfits. I fear for my pearls.


But there is more... the NYT also found that, in addition, co-eds are then told by society to risk their lives just to fit in:
" Ms. Bodner of Cornell estimated that it will be about 30 degrees in Ithaca on Oct. 31. "“We'’re not just risking our dignity here," she said. "We'’re risking frostbite.”"
I want to thank the New York Times for exposing this dangerous trend to the public. I only hope that the next generation of girls will trade in their fishnets for a "funny nerd" costume. Go ahead, eat that extra piece of candy and let your spakling wit be your sex appeal!


In the mean time, I'll keep my sexy Red Riding Hood costume because it's too late brainwashed lady like me. Oh, and we wear pink on Wednesdays, loser.