And the Winner Is Not...

I remember going through rush when I was just a little freshman. Sure all the girls seemed nice but that was not the point! There were two main types of sororities to avoid at all costs: 1) Ones filled with ugly girls (shallow but true), and of course, 2) those filled with skanks.

The pageant world is the same way but with the not-so-hot girls weeded out. The Miss America pageant is that nice sorority that all the guys want to date. Look at this year's winner, she's a ballerina who wants to become a teacher. You cannot get more adorable than that.

Then there is the slutty sorority of this metaphor: Miss USA. These are the party girls that guys just love... at least for the night. A likely sighting would be of one snorting a line to stay skinny and then making out with a fellow Miss USA contestant to get the boys to pay attention. And that is how we come to this year's winner Tara Connor.

This is when the gut instinct comes in, just on looks alone there is at least a 75% possibility this girl is scandalous. It turns out she's up to her eyes in booze, boys, and coke... who would have guessed!

This is what happens when Donald Trump is running the show. Ick.