Unsmooth Fashion Criminal

Every time I leave my house I see people dressed like crap. The type of outfits that are made even worse by the fact that these people think they look good! Half the nation must be legally blind. I usually attribute this affliction to the individual lacking any innate style sense and/or not having a stylist/fashionable friend to help them. However, there is no excuse for Lindsay Lohan. Her Mom always looks cute so I assume the style gene could have been passed on. And the girl has enough money to pay for a PA to help her with her obvious fashion issues.

Instead Lindsay goes around looking like she escaped from some minimum-security prison. That is the only explanation for the black and white stripped messy dress she threw on. Although calling it a dress is pretty generous. Not that the accessories are any better, the sunglasses from the 80s and Ugg boots were hopefully dumpster or Salvation Army finds. It is like the ghosts of fads past.

Maybe Miss Lohan should make a New Year's resolution to actually figure out the year. (Hint: It comes after 2006.) Then maybe she can let these horrible fashions die and slip into something uh, actually flattering. I guarantee this Juicy shirtdress will be just as comfortable as your heinous wardrobe.