Friday, January 05, 2007

Is Jesus the new Dr. Adkins?

Today I received an, um, interesting invitation from a Cornell alum. Apparently the new way to lose weight is called "The Light Weigh" and somehow involves getting skinny by bible study. (Some strange Catholic invention.) From the email:

"Are you tired of constantly struggling with your weight? Tired of following diets like they were religions? Consider giving God a chance to touch your heart, your life, and your eating."

Immediately I started to brainstorm just how this program would work...

First I pictured this intense spinning class. But instead of going up mountains, your sins are chasing you or something. Better bring a water bottle people!

Next I thought maybe they would take a Weight Watchers approach and teach you about how to eat. I can just see the person in charge proscribing a diet of only fish and bread. Sounds delish.

Finally there was the option of editing the bible to get it to be a weight loss book. "And on the seventh day of hardcore cardio, God rested." No slacking off!

And I thought the Adkins diet was weird. I just hope I do no get an email telling me the Torah can help me lose weight next!

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