Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Protesting the Protesters

I like free stuff. Two free on campus items I picked up daily are the WSJ and the Cornell Daily Sun. Most of the time I just end up using the Sun for an easy crossword. Today there was actually news pertinent to my own life: my weekend in DC may not be so peaceful.

Thanks to a column by Laura Taylor, I now know about the big old Anti-Iraq War march going on this weekend. Great, just great. I go to the District to escape Ithaca. Not to be followed by like a hundred Ithacans. Probably the same ones who insert “war” on the local stop signs… clever move guys.

Some helpful words of advice to the protesters:

-Pick up after yourselves. After the Pro-Life March the area looked like a trash dump of litter. (My boyfriend had to run through it and was extremely annoyed.) How hard is it to recycle people? It is all about the golden rule. How would you feel if a bunch of people showed up and trashed your town?

-Just take a cab. If public transportation confuses you in any way, shape, or form, then skip it. It does not help your cause if you piss off DC residents with your incompetence. Just think of your taxi fare as a contribution to the local economy or something.

-Try to look sane. I know you are passionate about your issue but remember not everyone is caught up in the same fervor. There is a thin line between a compelling protest and a fanatical one. The key is not to look like that homeless guy who thinks the CIA is tracking him.

-And most importantly, shower. This is not the 1960s. Hygiene is an important social norm that is even more vital when you are part of a massive crowd. Keep it clean, your fellow protester will thank you. Also, pick a semi-fashionable outfit that does not include a fanny pack. I would appreciate that on a personal level.

Good luck with your march this weekend. I bet that long bus ride is going to be super fun. I will be the one zipping by in my lovely car surrounded by my own apathy!

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